After listening to On Taking Photographs episode #43, I thought about what Jeffery Saddoris and Bill Wadman talked about heroes. Everyone has their heroes, not the kind that has super powers and fly around saving people. These heroes do have super powers and they do from time to time save people, but these heroes usually do it without realising it. These heroes maybe famous, they may totally be mundane regular people but every single one of these heroes influence and affect people.

The basic idea that I got from Jeffery Saddoris and Bill Wadman is that one would try to emulate one’s hero but more often than not one fail and one beat oneself up over it. And this is because one have not found one’s style (of photography) yet.

This led me to think about myself. I am probably the opposite. I grew up writing stories. I took up Mass Communications course in my tertiary education thinking I would write as a career. Maybe I would be a reporter or even a novelist. When I was studying I realised I couldn’t write so I gave up on that. However, for a time, after I give up on writing as a career I still kept up with writing down my ideas on a notebook and actually outlining one of my favourite ideas. It even went on to the point where I started drafting out 10 chapters or so. Then, my steam petered out. I stopped. I gave up.

I don’t try to emulate my heroes. I am one of those that give up before I truly give a 100% effort type of try. Maybe I know or I thought I know that I would never be as good as them with my best efforts. Am I a failure for never really trying? Or can I just excuse this as a re-focusing on other endevours that would be more successful for me?

I have made a resolution this year to continue on the story that I had started drafting out. Right now, I haven’t started back on it. I hope to take part in NaNoWriMo this year that would be my “dateline” to start back on my story.